resume of failure

"This might not work". Want that on a t-shirt? Seth Godin's coinage and philosophy behind this idea already made that happen.

Here's a problem in society: our proportion of failures to ideas is too balanced. An abundance of ideas is great, as long as we're trying them all. Remember-

Failure is not terminal.
This might not work.

Adam Grant keeps a resume of his failures. Everytime your startup goes bust. Everytime you create an album nobody likes. Every time you get shot down during an interview.

Nobody gets lucky first try (at least we can't count on that).

So, we try and push and run and run our ideas into the ground to build a tiny, but vital, resume of successes and a long, long resume of failures we knew "might not work".

foreword

I knew I wanted to write about an idea the moment I heard it, but I wasn't there.

Having to set it aside when I felt so convicted and so ready to share was a painful part of the process. There was a disconnect in what I could say and what needed to be said. The disconnect had to be bridged.

I read, I thought, I reasoned, I read some more. All throughout desiring to begin on this piece and be able to share it. It still wasn't ready.

Then I realized the gift I was creating needed "motion" to be realized.

A breakdown. A unifying voice. A start.

Here is that start.

gift

"Hobbits give presents to other people on their own birthday. Not very expensive ones, as a rule, and not so lavishly... but it was not a bad system."

The Fellowship of the Ring

What a simple change. Reversing the direction of giving to recenter the focus on others.

Let's play this out.

Pros:

• Chips away at our entitlement and pride.
• Batches your gift-gathering to one day.
• Spreads the gifts you receive on other's birthdays over the whole year (practice delayed-gratification).
• Gives ample time to be as intentional and prepared as you want.
• Necessitates more thought behind each gift.
• Subtly influences a closer connected circle of relationships.
• Instead of reinforcing selfishness and individualism, encourages belief in the perpetual reciprocity of the gift spirit.

Cons:

• Can become a contest of "self-righteous selflessness."
• Reduces the days you give which may lead to lower net generosity.
• Increases social pressure in the comparison of gifts given.

Let's look closer.

Instead of reinforcing selfishness and individualism, encourages belief in perpetual reciprocity of the gift spirit.
I once wrote about Jimmy Carter's 'Crisis of Confidence' in the American people who he accurately diagnosed to be "worship(ing) self-indulgence and consumption." That was forty years ago. We are much farther along that path because of technological progress and the national prosperity.

I ran into a friend who was stressed and anxious about the political orientation of our country. I was anxious too and empathized. I asked my friend if he would ever talk with someone from "the other side" about why they believe the things they do. He would not.

We have to get outside ourselves and our privileged echo chambers to un-sequestered ground for conversations. With polarization and partisanship deeply rooted, there is no limit to the examination and uprooting our practices and beliefs should undergo.

For restoration, we can look to a native mindset-
"If all the world is a commodity, how poor we grow."

Perpetual reciprocity of the gift spirit expects that when a gift is given, it will continually pass on to sustain the life of generosity in a community. Lewis Hyde writes about this and its connection to the creation of art and its personality and intentionality towards the recipient of gifts (producing another benefit in this system- the encouragement of artists!!).

Imagine giving the gift of paint made from seashells and then receiving on the recipients birthday a painting endowed with the same love you poured out in grinding the shells, and more! Imagine giving a book that changed you and does the same soul work in another, or giving a hand-made instrument that ignites a flame of future balads to be shared!

The spirit of an artist's gift can wake our own.

The Gift

It might require more thought and work, but I believe that right now, in the middle of a pandemic and after, we will have to give more effort and love than ever before.

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Every practice requires intentionality. How we do birthdays now can be good and beautiful as we appreciate those who are in our lives.

I don't believe we can do away with this tried tradition.

I do believe that we can practice Tolkien's reversal in small ways- even in our own families. I can't help but dream of a celebration to give and celebrate giving in spite of ourselves.

The gift is to the giver, and comes back most to him- it cannot fail...

Walt Whitman

Originally, I wondered about societal implications, now, I see only familial thriving.

While not perfect, played out in certain groups, ultimately, this reversal is better than our current system. If your argument is about tradition, implementation, or idealism, please comment below holes, fallacies, alternatives, and arguments you have against this idea.

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Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

Lewis Hyde, The Gift

J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

essential but not precedential

My parents drilled a mantra into me:

First things first.

It tells the important difference between essential and precedential.

"You may have a snack, after your bed is made." Eating is essential but it's not precedential. "You may play outside, after you finish your homework." Plodding up and down the neighborhood 'ditch' was crux to my day, but it wasn't a first thing.

This repeated mentality shaped me as I grew, rehabilitating an instant gratification mindset that rules many because of technology, individualism America, and entitlement culture that has grown. It also raises awareness of a subtlety that puts the spheres of life in their proper orbit.

What precedential task needs to be done, so that you can create, do, be what is essential? While I readily support having a "drop out of college for this" moment, I am strung to a belief in education and career's merit in today's world. These become linked to a creative's journey.

There are three options for an artist needing to serve his credit alongside his art:

• Get a second job
• Find a patron supporter
• Monetize your work

Commercializing my art has never appealed to me, so I'm left with side hustles and supportive households. These become precedential to our essential work. Logs that stoke the fire. It's a balancing act, trying to do work to fuel your work..

Money is the means for making art, but it must never become the master.

Jeff Goins in his guidebook, Real Artists Don't Starve.

Our art is so essential to our being. But at the same time, every artist must fight for the margin (just enough) to create. Finding the middle ground is where long-term, fulfilled artistry thrives.

mediocrity

I was listing things that held me back. Fear of judgement, of stepping on toes, of duplicity; all valid, but not the thing I fear the most.

Becoming mediocre to the world haunts my working and pondering.

Many of us never begin what we should because of this fear. The ultimate perfectionist-paralysis that grounds important work with horribly impenetrable logic. "I'll never be as good as..." or "I can't make money from doing work like this."

Or maybe we do begin, but when we see the result, we throw down our brush and storm away in disgust. The ultimate perfectionist-pointlessness that says "I don't have the ability to do this."

From personal experience to begin and overcome perfectionist-paralysis, you only need one cheerleader, one decent painting, one free hour.

Then it begins.

Sarah Wilson addresses our perfectionist-pointlessness like this:

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, its just not that good. Its trying to be good, it has potential, but its just not. But your taste, the thing that got you in the game, is still killer.

And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

We have the highest standards for ourselves, so we let ourselves down.

"The gap" between mediocre and good seems too far to cross, so we shut down any bridge-building that might work.

Before we learn to be good, we must shift our paradigm, so we start creating for the sake of creation itself.

the beat

Our routines are not made for when we are doing fine. We always implement new habits when we have succeeded at maintaining old habits. This is right. This is the best way to ensure momentum and commitment to our practices.

But our misconception is in the purpose of our process. Process safeguards us from our inevitable depletion of willpower. When the noise gets too loud, we need an internal rhythm to rediscover the beat.

I fail at this consistently. Time to turn up the volume...

enlist

The most essential skill we can take on is learning how to share our passion so others enlist.

When we master this skill, we also build our speaking, writing, and storytelling skills. We develop insight and gratitude for somethings in the world that the majority doesn't see like we do.

Here's the catch about "enlistment''-it doesn't require all of us becoming painters (or taking on any daily whatever). Patrons enlist with their vote, money, or network. Fellow creatives enlist with their criticism, challenging, or experiences. Your mother enlists by not only supporting your art, but seeing all art in a higher and more inspired light.

This is the primary way we want people to enlist: through showing up not just to your art display, but to the art display of artists everywhere. Change takes root and forms the desires of our culture for good.

your dream

Goals are easy. We've learned the systems needed to finish the marathon, eat the greens, or say the prayers.

Research and experience have made us confident to write the goals down and be clear about how and when we'll achieve them.

But we won't write our dreams down. At least not publicly- they stay locked in a diary stagnating as life pulls us into the habit of making money, building skills, and completing jobs, never stretching us enough to open the untapped reservoir within.

We're caught in quicksand, slowly losing sight of that sunny-bright vision we once deemed sacred.

We're waiting for dire boredom to shake us out of our dreamlessness or for a catalyst to enter and ignite the flame from our past. There is no timeline for this process so we think we are forever at the mercy of the world's dictates and systems.

Here's your new timeline:

1. Share your dream with someone- now
2. Create your daily whatever- right after now
3. Begin toiling- (you know when)

your daily whatever

Mine is writing.

Yours could be painting or dancing or making coffee or doing yoga or building computers or creating font or mixing music or planting trees.

Do it everyday. Not just to establish 10,000 hours. Not just to be ready for failure. Not just to work out exactly how it will produce down the line.

Do it because you have to. Your daily whatever is the thing that holds you together as a person. You bleed your art, and when you're done for the day, it displays your bloody fingerprints.

My advice is to not worry about its monetary or cultural worth yet- if you do it as yourself, it is enough.

triangle bathtub

I once conceived an idea to create triangle-shaped bathtubs. This was amidst a flurry of creativity and caffeine and, looking back, this may not have been my brightest idea.

Maybe there was absolutely no value in having this idea, or maybe it brought someone a sliver of joy when I shared it as a joke.

Two things:

• Failure is not terminal.
• Every idea bolsters creativity in its conception or future development. Don't let one bad idea stop you in your tracks.

the motions

Going through the motions is not always a bad thing.

We often think this mode of operation lacks authenticity or true desire- doing a thing just to get it done.

But what's the alternative? Not going to dinner with your significant other, not doing the analysis for your company, not writing your blog post for the day?

Sometimes, we genuinely want nothing to do with these things.

Why are we so afraid of being inauthentic when our "authentic selves" so often want to be inconsistent? Routine is the tried and true gutter bumpers that keep our shots inbounds and moving forward. It is the only way we will be able to fight our base instinct to not.

the question they ask

"Why did you get rid of your social media?"

A more fair question to ask back is, "why didn't you get rid of yours?" We're at a place, informationally, where the second question makes more sense.

I haven't written much about the Attention Economy, but slowly have been buying back my shares. We are the product in the Attention Economy. Tech and social media companies are paying billions for our time and attention.

And the things we lose when we sell our attention and time to the altar of the screen...

So, why haven't you gotten rid of yours, I ask, genuinely.

Some get rid of their smartphones for the same reason- "there has to be a better way", they say.

And there is.

Because how long do you think it will be before the majority begins to ask," why didn't you get rid of your smartphone..."

what square do you land on?

This question provides context to a journey we are on. I like it for the structural end, middle, and begginning it implies. It is grace for the Wanderer, and freedom for the Novice.

We aren't on anyone's timetable, which is a grace- figuring out the meat of life doesn't require being swift.

The questions we're asking take time. Time that is available, and if we remember this we are freed from the social desire to pick a side before truly considering.

But do we all land somewhere?

I think, sometimes, it's okay to not get to the final opinion on a subject. Finality in "knowing" doesn't determine our success in life (thank goodness).

And the final square is only that for as long as the game stays the same.

place

How we think about "place "can quickly become our current paradigm. Where we are in life always tries to dictate who we are.

If you're climbing the corporate ladder to provide for your family, you become a rung. If you're in school preparing yourself for a knowledge career, you become a database. If you're a contractor fixing up homes because it's natural work, you become a hammer.

The problem with this thinking is a view of "loci", internal or external, that dictates your response to the world as either passive or active.

The problem with this thinking is in its passive nature. It tells us to stay bipartisan to the issues in culture, academia, and work.

It's an unhealthy invitation to exchange purpose for work.

The real problem is that we can't see past this place to envision how our work fits into the grand scheme and helps us achieve our goals.

The more deeply a thought or action is tied to your identity, the more difficult it is to change it.

James Clear, Atomic Habits

This identity change isn't easy. We are temporal creatures, so place matters, and it effects us deeply. But we have the power of conscious choice and habit to uproot our desire to be acted upon, and begin to act.

the cure

Is technology the disease or the cure?

It's clearly a little of both right now. Literally and metaphorically, tech saves and tears down lives. Ultimately, will it be our undoing or our unchaining.

Is it a vehicle for salvation or slavery?

This is the battle the few tech ethicists today have taken up space around. The pervading belief they purport is that tech has incredible power to give us more-fulfilling lives, unless grossly misused.

It has been grossly misused.

Here's the nuance: technology is the cure, in the hands of the right people.

The CHT let us know how the wrong people have created the disease.

What we need now is a revolution of technology ethics- a reformation movement for the "cultural churches" of Apple, Google, and Facebook.

The first whistle has been blown.

Here are the 95 theses.

Here are the disciplines: tech-wise // Newport.

Spread the cure.

---

read // stripped

read // stg 3...

read // lp2

shower thoughts

You may remember the story of Archimedes discovering displacement and buoyancy, promptly running down the street, wet from his bath tub, shouting 'eureka' in joy.

This event kicked off the torrent of "shower ideas" people have had for millennia.

We all have ideas constantly. Our brains fuse different neural pathways together to create a surge effect of conceptual novelty. Some people think writers or "creatives" have a greater quantity of ideas than other people. This thinking requires a paradigm shift:

Writers don't have a greater quantity of ideas, they merely practice noticing them more.

Neil Gaiman

Every idea is a potential catalyst for action, and action is the first step in the change equation.

Whether it's a new productivity system in your life or a product that could create positive change, ideas start things.

Ideas are the lifeblood of change.

If we could see how vital ideas are to human growth, our relationship with these insights would change fundamentally.

Steps: Take note; take action.

start a blog

Seth Godin wrote today about how the most important blog is "yours" and the most important blog post is "the one you'll write tomorrow".

Whether you make decisions for your company, craft sales pitches everyday, or check people out in line is not as important as if you write about something you noticed in the world today.

If we're not noticing, how are we changing? And if we're not changing, how are we becoming...?

Writing isn't about sounding elegant- Hemingway was simple in his prose. Writing doesn't ask you to get it right every time- "Grammarly can help". Writing a daily blog isn't just for writers.

We write to form conclusions. To understand. To educate. To create meaning.

The question is not "did we do this well", but rather "did we do this today?"

acknowledgments

In an article titled, Against Acknowledgements, Sam Sacks critiques and disavows acknowledgements in novels and nonfiction alike, citing the solidarity in which writing transpires.

The problem with this view is that it breeds solipsism (or, self-mindedness, a philosophy that is equal parts arrogant and foolish). While I'm all for questioning conventional wisdom, I believe we are nothing without those who have surrounded us all our lives.

We cannot create in a vacuum. Even Thoreau at Walden Pond had his neighbors for inspiration- squirrels and birds, townsfolk and huntsmen.

Through a myriad of influences, we create work from and for the people who have created us. They may not have directly influenced our work in process, but they certainly influenced our thinking.

In big and small ways, our language, memories, and ideas all stem from others. Only with people are we able to write characters that reflect, places that repurpose our memories, and concepts heard in passing and staying.

Acknowledgement is proof of effort.

The intersection of learned artifacts make up our work. We have done the hard work of not looking merely inward, but seeing outward for the truth fused into the hands and eyes of people.

And so, we thank them.

imports and exports

George: He's an importer.

Jerry: Just imports, no exports?

Seinfeld, The Stakeout

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You can't share if you don't listen.

That's how we train children and how we setup culture. One part respect, two parts logistic- we can't share what we don't have.

Learning reveals what we have to share. We ask of each person or circumstance life finds for us, "what do you teach", and hear (not an answer, but...) more questions about this complex thing called living.

Inversely, you can't merely listen, you must share.

Not sharing is what we call an echo chamber or selfish. The world asks something of each of us. Lending an ear is not a complete substitute for calling.

Purpose is a duality: to be called and to call.

Alcoholics Anonymous has eleven steps to bring an addict back to home plate. They then make the move of giving them a swing....

... to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Step Twelve

Not solely importing, not merely exporting.

He's an importer-exporter!

Thanks, Jerry.

the hole

There's a hole in all our souls that has captivated artists to write, spirituals to pray, and the rest to work. Somewhere along the way, we messed up the purpose of our work. We see the dropout rate from careers and education and the un-satisfaction level with jobs today- signs of an unhappy time.

When we talk about seeking purpose, we talk about doing something. Work.

When we talk about filling the hole, we talk about acquiring resources. Stuff.

The flip is not merely due to a perspective shift in our framework, but a way our culture is setup around work. Work has become a means to an end, not the end itself.

We work to buy stuff to fill the hole, instead of letting meaningful work fill it for us. Working for a paycheck is purposeful up to the point of financial security. Beyond that is selfishness that won't fill the hole, no matter the hammer's size.

We now have a chance to reframe.

Living simply, generously, and purposely. Choosing to have less and be more.

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Garden City // John Mark Comer